SHORTCUT on Singleness in the Church

single-2The experience of singleness within the Church is varied. Some singles speak positively about their churches. Others struggle to find one compliment to share about their experience. This SHORTCUT on Singleness in the Church is intended to help the reader hear more concretely about this spectrum of experiences.

The views expressed in what follows are from survey respondents (excepting the final section) and do not necessarily represent the views of As a result, some views may harmonize with one another while others prove contradictory. Additionally, what one person finds discouraging in the church, another person may find very encouraging. This demonstrates the spectrum of opinion on this topic. Also, this survey was anonymous with regard to commenter and the church(es) being discussed. Any comments which resemble your or my church are purely coincidental.

The first section is all things discouraging. These responses reflect those areas and incidents where singles feel let down. Far from intending to dish out hurt by those who have been hurt, this gives readers a chance to understand the relational carnage that has been extolled on singles. Use it to learn.

The second section is all things encouraging. How are churches encourages singles in their singleness, whether temporary or permanent? Be encouraged! Many are finding great joy in their singleness because of the intentional efforts of churches and individuals or families found within.

The third section represents helpful resources on the topic of singles. It is a mixed bag of topics, opinions, and perspectives. I do not offer this list because I have carefully read through each piece. Rather I put them forward as recommended by others on the journey. Read and absorb with your own critical eye and in light of Bible.

The final section is my attempt to distill down my study into 17 truths related to singleness. These 17 points were preached at Hope Community Church on Sunday, June 23rd. Due to a power outage, this sermon is without audio or video recordings. Still, the truths could prove helpful to read and compare to your own experience on this topic.

To the reader, whether single or married, I say, “His commands are his enablings.” This quote, taken from Maragaret Clarkson, from her book, So, You’re Single!, is for me a crucial piece to the puzzle. If you find yourself as lifetime single, his commands are his enablings. If you are desperate to be married but are not, his commands are his enablings. If you are a person in a place of loving those who are single, his commands are his enablings. What God has called each of us to, he is faithful to meet us where we are at and enable us to walk forward due to his grace.

Click through the following series of pages beginning with the discouragements.

Posted on by Cor in Sex and Relationships

One Response to SHORTCUT on Singleness in the Church

  1. christianpundit

    Regarding your resource of Rachael Held Evans’ blog page about ‘do Christians idolize virginity,’ it is often assumed by emergent Christians, the liberals, and now, it’s trendy among some conservatives, that the answer to that question is “yes,” but the answer is actually a big fat “no.” I’ve written a few blog posts at my blog about the topic.

    Far from idolizing virginity (and celibacy) most Christians today either ignore it altogether (they behave as though lifelong celibacy or virginity past age 25 is impossible), or they make false assumptions about older Christian celibates (eg, they must lack sex drives, etc).

    Some Christians want Christians to scrap teachings of sexual purity (celibacy and virginity until marriage) because they feel such teachings hurt the feelings of people who have had pre-marital sex. I’ve mentioned that on my blog a time or two as well, and it’s a very troubling trend.

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