- When I saw her, I was immediately attracted to her. She was in the back of the bus. Blonde, naturally curly hair. Yellow spring jacket. Bright eyes. Perfect smile. Years later, married, with two kids, I still find her strikingly beautiful (not to mention the myriad of other ways I find her attractive).
As a pastor, I have weekly conversations with people eager to be in a relationship. Amongst other topics, physical attraction is often discussed. To my surprise, in many of these situations, the words would hardly qualify as fawning. Rather it seems to be quite the opposite. There is a lack of physical attraction.
It goes like this:
Two people click. They click spiritually. They click emotionally. They have fun with one another. Their backgrounds are healthy and their futures look bright. Their friends and families see it as a fit. But it lacks that “spark.” There isn’t a click with physical attraction.
If I hear something once I will forget it. If I hear it a second time I might make note of it. But I have experienced this more than a dozen times in recent memory.
It surprises me.
Do you have any thoughts on why this could be? Has this always been the case? Could there be some cultural factors at play? Do we put to high an emphasis on physical attraction?
I’d be eager to hear from couples too. How important was an initial physical attraction in your relationship?
Question: How important is physical attraction?