I’ve sinned in my life. A lot.
But wait, there’s more. As a result of my sin I’ve received the added bonuses of embarrassment, guilt, shame, and brokenness. It’s the worst Price is Right showcase ever.
Some time ago I had the startling realization. He sees me when I’m sleeping. He knows when I’m awake. He knows when I’ve been bad or good…
No, not Santa. God.
God sees. God sees all. He sees when I’ve been bad. But he doesn’t just come upon the scene afterwards like a state trooper does a car accident. He’s there the entire time. Hebrews 4:13 says, “And no creature is hidden from his sight, all are naked and exposed to his eyes.”
God sees me as I’m sinning. He sees me in my first temptation. He sees me in the mental struggle and the rationalization. He sees as my affections turn away. He sees me as I say “yes” to falsehood rather than truth, darkness rather than light, death rather than life, sin’s embrace rather than his.
He sees me as I am sinning.
In such moments, John Owen wonders, “Do I count fellowship with God of so little value that for this vile lust’s sake, I have hardly left him any room in my heart?”
Yes. In that moment I have left little room in my heart for him. I count connection with sin as greater than connection with my Savior.
And as I turn away from him he keeps his eyes on me.
Have you ever babysat? If so, you know how hard it can be to keep watching. Little kids do some crazy things. They may be dangerous, gross, or embarrassing. In such moments the easiest thing to do is look away.
God doesn’t look away. He sees all. All of my dangerous, gross, and embarrassing moments.
I’m not excited that God sees me as I’m sinning. But I am grateful for it.
Otherwise, how can I be assured that he is still willing to save me? If he only sees in part, maybe he only saves in part. But if he sees all, I can be assured that he can save all. Even my grossest, most shameful, disturbing, and embarrassing sins, can be redeemed!
If you’re anything like me, and have sinned a lot, take hope today in his grace.
He has seen all. Even still, he is willing to save.