It started on a Spring Break bus to Panama City Beach, FL. There in the back row was a girl that I could only describe at the time as “HOT” (I had just started following Christ and didn’t have any other category). I promised myself that before we landed back in MN five days later I would have a date with her (*mission: accomplished!*). Between bus trips, I was able to finagle a walk on the beach between just the two of us. She needed a sweatshirt as the departed sun had left things a bit chilly. I told the rest of the group to go on ahead and we’d catch up to them. Yeah, right! After our long walk and conversation, I was pretty sure she was awesome, not just on the outside but on the inside too (i.e. someone I didn’t want to be just friends with).
So, I tried my best attempt at some form of Christian, honorable pick-up line action thing. I told her thanks for the walk. Then I lifted my hand up for a high-five. Here’s where you really need to pay attention. When she came to high-five me, I grabbed on to her hand. Pulling it down to waist level, I proceeded to give her hand an extra squeeze. YES! Did you feel that? BOOM! Alright, I didn’t know what the heck I was doing. But 20 months later I did marry that girl. So, that counts for something, right?
About a year ago, our church was just finishing a sermon series on the Song of Solomon. One of the sermons that Steve preached was on The Power of Attraction. I recall how influential this sermon was for many people. In it Steve addressed what makes an attractive man and what makes an attractive woman (similar to the conversations on Men and Women here and here). Then he asked the question, “Are you attracted to someone?” If so, there are three questions he felt you should ask yourself:
- Is this the best thing for the other person?
- Is this the best thing for you?
- Is this the best thing for God?
If, after answering these things affirmatively, steps need to be taken to express this attraction. In the Song of Solomon this meant her asking the man where he grazed his flock and rested his sheep at midday (1:7) and following the tracks of the sheep so she might graze her goats nearby his (1:8).
What’s the modern-day equivalent of tracking your crush’s sheep? How can attraction be expressed in honoring and healthy ways?
- What are honorable ways you have heard of, or seen, or even carried out of expressing attraction to someone? Do you have an example(s) about how a person tried to express this and it just didn’t work?
- Singles, how do you feel like someone could express this to you in ways that honor and bless?
- Married types, how did you or your spouse come to express your attraction for one another? It better have not been like me!